MonkEE See, MonkEE Say (November)



Everything is tentatively touchable, today. Fingertips rawed by choice-to-action, the marks on my wrists are carried with pride, reminding me of their presence as they brush against my sides while stepping--stiffly--through the day.

Cat-pass to skin-hash, trashing weakness past, (but fatiguing fast,) in one quick moment executed with ease, more new knowledge that extracts it's own small fees:

It works! Training works. And when it does, it feels so good--and, oh yes, it hurts, but it is pains well worth the profits...

I topped the box without a thought, did not stop until fully on it. Why'd it take last call to do it so well? The first few goes were mostly fail, the following struggle-ups, though done, unsatisfying at end. And so rose the need to try again--just once more--even with paws already raw and sore, the welling disappointment of leaving the challenge partial, and the lack of thought when it came time. With resolution, stepping strong, jump-jump-leap-catch--ignore the scratch and continue on. Like a beast (or my beastly friends,) I grabbed, pulled-and-pushed with everything I had, and made it with strength solidly upon. On top, no worries, it hit me; utter glee despite that it was rough; see, myself? I can be muscle-up tough. I've wanted it, trained for it, but never quite knew; now I do.

Congratulated by fellows surrounding, I felt the authenticity of celebration--as just a moment ago I was equally stoked to see them thus succeeding. Their claps and cheers--and my own quiet trembling--nearly pushed me to visible tears; it means so much to me not to fear fighting fears.

This is the formidable nature of community--you go, I go, we watch each other to see: where are we improving? Where are we strong? What can I help with, or what help do I need? I get a happy rush when a friend hits that cat, a new student finds their balance, when persistence proves that it pays off, outside of myself but exactly like me. When someone else is struggling-up, I know, and want them to want their place on that wall. I want them to feel their capability, run fast, and when done, stand tall.

This running with others working on ourselves together, skinning our palms and facing fatigue--does it get any better? Because--certainly, if not without deliberation--we do.

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Written by Janine   
Friday, 30 October 2009 08:32
Last Updated on Monday, 13 December 2010 21:48